Saturday, November 29, 2014
BASKETBALL JONES
I posted all the Original drawings from the Girl Basketball Series (1997) up on the Bend Store. Four of them sold within 10 minutes, but 3 are still available... $25 off until Tuesday the 2nd of December.
Monday, November 24, 2014
20,000 DAYS ON EARTH
Couldn't sleep. Watched 20,000 Days On Earth last night at 2am. Thoroughly enjoyed it. A must for any creative out there... writer, artist, musician, etc. Especially if you're a Nick Cave fan.
Sunday, November 23, 2014
COMMISSIONS
I while ago I got a commission do do a few skateboard drawings. It's taken me way too long to get them going... but here are the working drawings. Sorry for the delay, Dave.
WANDERING
Does the dog need to go out?
Is the back door open for him?
What about that strange old man we saw this morning?
He could just wander in.
Would he come in and get close enough that we could smell him?
He's wearing all dark clothes, greasy with dirt, spit and living. He would speak to me a few inches from my face, his breath destroying the oxygen between us.
But I wouldn't be thinking about his smell if he were threatening me with an ice pick. Holding it directly over my heart inbetween two ribs.
Would I say out loud that I don't want to die like this? I don't really mind dying, just not like this.
And why at ice pick? Icepicks aren't common at all. How do you sharpen one? With a rough, rusty file.
How would that damage your organs? A deep, tiny hole? Is it worse than a knife wound?
Wait... how the fuck did I get here?
Oh yeah, the back door.
Does the dog need to go out?
Is the back door open for him?
What about that strange old man we saw this morning?
He could just wander in.
Would he come in and get close enough that we could smell him?
He's wearing all dark clothes, greasy with dirt, spit and living. He would speak to me a few inches from my face, his breath destroying the oxygen between us.
But I wouldn't be thinking about his smell if he were threatening me with an ice pick. Holding it directly over my heart inbetween two ribs.
Would I say out loud that I don't want to die like this? I don't really mind dying, just not like this.
And why at ice pick? Icepicks aren't common at all. How do you sharpen one? With a rough, rusty file.
How would that damage your organs? A deep, tiny hole? Is it worse than a knife wound?
Wait... how the fuck did I get here?
Oh yeah, the back door.
Does the dog need to go out?
Friday, November 21, 2014
WHORE
I look at the clock (actually, I look at my phone. Who has a clock anymore?) it's 2:30pm. Christ. I still have two and a half hours to go. I have enough work to tide me over until 5, but the motivation isn't there. Only yawns. I stretch and look around my office for some sort of message. None. I get up and go for a cup of coffee. Black.
3:04. Holy crap, the day has just stalled out.
4:15. Ugh.
4:46. I can do this.
5. I'm out.
I make a quick stop to pick up my dog from the kennel and he settles into the back seat.
Merging onto the freeway is always an anxious moment. Cars in front of me are always merging too slow and the cars already on the freeway fly by. I have to blink and either barge or be barged on.
Today the traffic is almost stopped. I slip in behind a giant container truck and wait with all the others. This goes on for some time.
Finally things start to move and cars go into a frenzy. Which lane i faster? Is that bus holding things up? I better switch over to the left. Maybe the right. Why is that guy still moving so slow?
Finally, I exit the freeway and am trapped behind an over-loaded pick-up truck, tools and junk hanging off like hair. About two blocks from my house we I stop at a 4-way. The truck in front of me, painfully slow — that's the last straw. I snap and pull around him quickly. I forget to stop at the sign. The oncoming car starts turning in front of me and we both hit our brakes. There is now about 10 feet from my face to his between our open windows. I look at him and he is in a full rage, his face all twisted up and red. He is ugly with anger. We both speak at the same time…
I start, "I'm sorry man, I made a mis..."
He yells — much louder than I expected, "YOU WHORE! I'll kill you and your dog!"
What? Did he just say that? No… he couldn't have. He wants to kill me — and my dog? For cutting him off? He must have said, I could have killed you and your dog. Yeah. We each drive off and I cant help but to yell.
Well then, "… FUCK YOU!"
That was smart. The dude calls me a "whore" and all I can think of is Fuck You. Classic. For the rest of my short drive home, I think of alternative responses.
"And a good day to you, sir."
"Who's the whore here? Whore."
"Whore? How does that possibly make any sense?"
OK, so I have no good alternative responses. I park in front of my place and look back at my dog. He's sitting up in the seat, tongue out, a smile on his face.
Asshole.
Bender. Originally published in issue #44 of Monster Children. 2014.
Illustration by Travis Millard.
3:04. Holy crap, the day has just stalled out.
4:15. Ugh.
4:46. I can do this.
5. I'm out.
I make a quick stop to pick up my dog from the kennel and he settles into the back seat.
Merging onto the freeway is always an anxious moment. Cars in front of me are always merging too slow and the cars already on the freeway fly by. I have to blink and either barge or be barged on.
Finally things start to move and cars go into a frenzy. Which lane i faster? Is that bus holding things up? I better switch over to the left. Maybe the right. Why is that guy still moving so slow?
Finally, I exit the freeway and am trapped behind an over-loaded pick-up truck, tools and junk hanging off like hair. About two blocks from my house we I stop at a 4-way. The truck in front of me, painfully slow — that's the last straw. I snap and pull around him quickly. I forget to stop at the sign. The oncoming car starts turning in front of me and we both hit our brakes. There is now about 10 feet from my face to his between our open windows. I look at him and he is in a full rage, his face all twisted up and red. He is ugly with anger. We both speak at the same time…
I start, "I'm sorry man, I made a mis..."
He yells — much louder than I expected, "YOU WHORE! I'll kill you and your dog!"
What? Did he just say that? No… he couldn't have. He wants to kill me — and my dog? For cutting him off? He must have said, I could have killed you and your dog. Yeah. We each drive off and I cant help but to yell.
Well then, "… FUCK YOU!"
That was smart. The dude calls me a "whore" and all I can think of is Fuck You. Classic. For the rest of my short drive home, I think of alternative responses.
"And a good day to you, sir."
"Who's the whore here? Whore."
"Whore? How does that possibly make any sense?"
OK, so I have no good alternative responses. I park in front of my place and look back at my dog. He's sitting up in the seat, tongue out, a smile on his face.
Asshole.
Bender. Originally published in issue #44 of Monster Children. 2014.
Illustration by Travis Millard.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
ONE HOUR OF RANDOM, PART 2
iTunes random play
3:30pm - 4:30pm
Ornette Coleman “Faces And Places”
Clash “Something About England”
Faust “Lauft… Heisst Das Es Lauft Oder Kommt Blad”
Shudder To Think “Love Catastrophe”
The Claudia Quartet “Guarana”
Pixies “Dig For Fire”
The Mumlers “The Hinge’s Lament”
A Tribe Called Quest “I Left My Wallet In El Segundo”
Echo & The Bunnymen “Clay”
Tom Waits “Union Square”
Bright Eyes “Waste Of Paint”
Wilco “Forget The Flowers”
The National “Lit Up”
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds “By The Time I Get To Phoenix”
Unknown Instructors “Twing Twang”
Aphex Twin “Father”
Sunny Day Real Estate “8”
Mr. T Experience “Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba”
Fugazi "Facet Squared"
3:30pm - 4:30pm
Ornette Coleman “Faces And Places”
Clash “Something About England”
Faust “Lauft… Heisst Das Es Lauft Oder Kommt Blad”
Shudder To Think “Love Catastrophe”
The Claudia Quartet “Guarana”
Pixies “Dig For Fire”
The Mumlers “The Hinge’s Lament”
A Tribe Called Quest “I Left My Wallet In El Segundo”
Echo & The Bunnymen “Clay”
Tom Waits “Union Square”
Bright Eyes “Waste Of Paint”
Wilco “Forget The Flowers”
The National “Lit Up”
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds “By The Time I Get To Phoenix”
Unknown Instructors “Twing Twang”
Aphex Twin “Father”
Sunny Day Real Estate “8”
Mr. T Experience “Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba”
Fugazi "Facet Squared"
ONE HOUR OF RANDOM
iTunes random play
9:30am - 10:30am
Miles Davis “Scrapple From the Apple”
Queens of the Stone Age “The Bronze”
Gregory Porter “Mother’s Song”
Iggy Pop “Lust For Life”
Elvis Costello “Shot With His Own Gun”
Willie Bobo “Nessa”
Medeski, Martin & Wood “Coconut Boogaloo”
Lou Barlow “Option”
Graham Coxon “Me You, We Two”
Minor Threat “Cashing In”
Mt. Egypt “Song For My Mother”
Mission of Burma, “Careening With Conviction”
101’ers “Lonely Mother’s Son”
Carmen McRae “I’ll Be Seeing You”
Wilco w/ Fleet Foxes “I Shall Be Released”
Archie Bronson Outfit “Rituals”
The Black Keys “Little Black Submarines”
9:30am - 10:30am
Miles Davis “Scrapple From the Apple”
Queens of the Stone Age “The Bronze”
Gregory Porter “Mother’s Song”
Iggy Pop “Lust For Life”
Elvis Costello “Shot With His Own Gun”
Willie Bobo “Nessa”
Medeski, Martin & Wood “Coconut Boogaloo”
Lou Barlow “Option”
Graham Coxon “Me You, We Two”
Minor Threat “Cashing In”
Mt. Egypt “Song For My Mother”
Mission of Burma, “Careening With Conviction”
101’ers “Lonely Mother’s Son”
Carmen McRae “I’ll Be Seeing You”
Wilco w/ Fleet Foxes “I Shall Be Released”
Archie Bronson Outfit “Rituals”
The Black Keys “Little Black Submarines”
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
LETTUS BEE ORIGINALS
All 5 of the original drawings I did for the current Girl mini series are available for purchase in the Bend Store. Wrench Pilot's Lettus Bee pays homage to Sean Malto, Eric Koston, Mikemo, Mariano and Cory Kennedy. Black ink on archival paper. Signed.
You can also get the Girl boards themselves from the Crailtap Store.
You can also get the Girl boards themselves from the Crailtap Store.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
HEAVY HEADS
Here's a shot of my custom helmet from the Heavy Heads show earlier this year. It's for sale over on the Heavy Heads Big Cartel store.
BRAIN DENTURE JETS
Here's a list of the most popular junk emails I get:
"Brain Stimulator"
"Custom Dentures"
"Private Jets"
"Funeral Insurance"
I'm trying to see the connection.
"Brain Stimulator"
"Custom Dentures"
"Private Jets"
"Funeral Insurance"
I'm trying to see the connection.
I'M NEW HERE
Welcome to the new Bend Press Blog. I hate the word Blog. Let's call it a journal... of sorts. I'll be posting all sorts of nonsense here and leave the Bend Press site for my bio, job & misc info. I'm moving the column from that site to this one because it's way easier for me to post — and post remotely. So bare with the simple aesthetic and lack of design of any sort. Until I figure out how to have an easily editable column on my personal site, I'll be using this thing. Welcome aboard.
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